Frostless Ice
by Hay Gurl Hay
Summary: (HIATUS) My life was my own living hell. I lived to serve Karin, my sister. Or, at least that's what it felt like. And then there's Sasuke. RATING MAY CHANGE
1. Damaged

Summary: My life was my own living hell. I lived to serve Karin, my sister. Or, at least that's what it felt like.

_**XxXxX**_

"Okay, you just can_not_ take my stuff like that!"

"Sakura, I think that I am more than perfectly capable of taking your stuff from you and _not _get in trouble for it." A smooth and evenly toned voice said. The voice was attached to a young seventeen year old girl with shoulder length red hair. One side was kept nice whilst the other side was very… the opposite. The red head was smirking at the other seventeen year old in front of her.

Yeah, hi.

That _other _seventeen year old girl? Yeah, that'd be me. Me as in Sakura Haruno. Her as in Karin… Haruno. A.K.A my older sister. Yes, we are twins.

Unfortunately.

Anywho. I have mid back length pink hair. Yes, you did in fact read that right. I have pink hair. It's not dyed either. I can't even begin to tell you how many people have gone up to me and asked if my hair is real.

…

Okay, maybe I _can _but… that's not the point! The point _is, _is that… well…

I lost my point.

"Stop coming up with lame excuses, Karin. This is just sad. Even for you." I glared at her as I raced around the edges of the kitchen table towards Karin and my precious notebook in hand.

See, Karin and I were currently around the kitchen table. I was on one side, and she was on the opposite. Whenever I would shoot around the corner, she would run the other way. The reason why she has my notebook is still a mystery. She just called me down and I saw it and started chasing her.

See, that notebook is actually very important to me. My first boyfriend gave it to me. I'm not exactly sure why I still have it though but… hey, you would too if he was the sweetest, most caring guy on the planet.

Who turned gay.

I'm not exactly sure if it was during our relationship, or after it when he just finally decided he was all of a sudden gay. I will never know.

Karin suddenly ran behind her and towards the bathroom. I ran after her as fast as my thin, wobbly legs would carry me. My gym teacher would have been proud.

But then everything was in slow motion.

Karin dangled my black and red notebook over the opened toilet seat. I screamed when she let go-

(_She's going to die!She's going to die!She's going to die!_)

-only to have her other hand catch it before tossing it back to me. My clammy hands reached for it only I couldn't reach that far in front of me and it fell to the ground. The bind snapped as it flipped open revealing a picture of a young girl with short, bright red hair and green eyes.

My other sister.

She was actually recently deceased. Her name was Aria and she was only four years old when she died. We found out that she had leukemia and believe me, we got her help. The Doctors just said that her heart was too weak to undergo the treatment and without any other choice, she just… died. She would have died either way but…

It was over a year ago but it still hurt like hell to remember her.

And now the only thing I really treasured was left on the ground, in a broken heap. It reminded me of her and her last day. That only could make anybody cry unless they were so strong that it just didn't bother them anymore.

Unfortunately, I was not that strong. I burst into tears as they streamed down my now red face.

"Oops," I looked up to see Karin looking at me with fake sympathy, "my bad."

Then she walked away.

I couldn't really do anything at this point because… well… all I could think was that the book was broken. It killed me.

I swear that I just wanted to kill her right then and there.

Of course, she's done this before.

And will continue to do this.

Only worse.

**Frostless Ice**

**Chapter o1**

**Damaged**

"She did it again didn't she?"

I nodded sullenly.

It was Monday morning and Ino and I were on our way to school. We were walking and about a few blocks to go before we reached Konoha High. The best school in the entire region of Japan. (coughsarcasmcough)

Ino sighed loudly. "Sakura, when are you going to wake up and smell the roses? Karin's going to keep doing this to you unless you stand up and fight back!"

"Ino," I began, "you know that I can't do that. Mom and Dad will just think that I'm making it up again. You _know _that. I can't do a thing. She's untouchable."

"Are you sure that this is all because she's an hour older than you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well… it just seems… I dunno… _fake _like, they're your parents Sakura. Why would they favor your sister over you? Even if she is an hour older than you. It just doesn't seem real. Are you sure it's because of that?" Ino twirled thick strands of her long, platinum blonde hair around her forefinger nervously. She picked that up from our other friend Hinata.

Hinata was _always _nervous. Especially around Naruto her "secret" crush. Well, she thinks it's a secret but a lot of people know. And I mean a _lot_!

"I don't know. You met my parents-"

"Yeah, and we saw how _fantastic _that went."

"-so you should know that I don't know a single thing that runs through they're minds. They are way too complicated."

"Ain't that the truth."

By now, we reached Konoha High. Actually, we still had a block to go but we could see it. It was within visual range.

"I need a drink…"

"Ino, we're at this little thing called _school_! You bring anything resembling alcohol, your dead. You even think about alcohol, your dead. I'm being serious." I smacked her upside the head when she shook her head back at me. How dare she!

Bitch!

(_Die!Die!Die!_)

Ino hmphd at me. If I was a boy, I would have thought it was cute, but since I'm not a boy, I don't think it is. It is actually, to me at the very least, revolting in a disgusting kind of way. Oh yeah, I so went there!

YOU JUST GOT PWNED SISTER!

"I can't believe that rule."

"Ino, what rule?"

"The rule the school has idiot."

"Ino, the school has like… a million rules. Which one?"

"The one that they made-"

"GOD DAMNIT INO! WHAT RULE!!?? WHAT THE HELL IS IT ABOUT!!??"

"The one about how nobody get's to date Uchiha Sasuke."

"…"

I seriously could have killed her right then and there. I did a quick take of my surroundings. If I murdered Ino now, I would only have to kill three other people because there were only three witnesses. I'm sure I could kill all of them before somebody else notices or one of them calls the police. But, if we kept walking, I'm pretty sure that some people from school would notice and I really didn't have time for that. I'll let her live…

… for now…

"Ino, I hope you do realize that Karin made up that stupid rule just to get girls to back off of 'her Uchiha Sasuke' A.K.A. 'man whore'." I said in an I-told-you-so kind of tone. Ino glared at me.

"I so _knew _that!"

"Uh-huh, sure you did." I nodded in (fake) agreement. Then an exasperated groan escaped my lips. I could hear Ino shift slightly towards me as if inclining what was wrong without any words. "Why is everybody so hung over Sasuke? He's just a guy."

"You forgot irresistible, charming, hot, good-looking, and-" I cut Ino off from her… _fascinating _conversation.

"Yeah, notice how all of the words revolve around his looks." I shook my head softly. "Don't any of you fan girls care about his attitude? His personality?"

Ino laughed at me. "Hunny, you have enough attitude to fuel the entire world for centuries. Plus, I highly doubt that that's what everybody's going crazy about. I mean, who cares about that kind of stuff?"

"Right, because nowadays, people only care about how hot your partner-"

"Only you would use Partner, Sakura."

"-is and how good looking your children could be. Nobody cares about if somebody's child is as dumb as fuck anymore because apparently looks are everything!" Somehow, my hands were up in the air. Don't ask me how they got there. "Looks get you into new, high-tech schools that used to be for overachievers, an amazing job, etcetera, etcetera. If your good looking, you get an easy life, while us 'ugly' people (or so in their eyes) have to actually work for a living." I paused and took a well-deserved breath. "See, and this is why I hate talking about Uchiha Sasuke."

Ino yawned beside me.

"Gosh Sakura, you make everything into a debate or something. You make every single topic sound so smart even if they're dumb as hell."

I chuckled. "Like?"

"Like nail polish."

"Nail polish is stupid. It's just a bunch of girls getting together and wasting some of the world's materials just so their nails can look… _pretty_."

"See? There you go again! Making everything sound so smart when they're not!" She breathed in deeply before exhaling slowly. "Sakura, you are truly one in a million."

"Gee… I feel so special. You have the ability to seduce men at your will. I have the ability to _lecture _them to death. Wow… I am so lucky." My throat vibrated from laughter as we both continued on to school.

"Saku-"

"Don't. Please. I don't want sympathy."

"You need sympathy Sakura."

"Yeah, sure."

"Saku, just please promise me you'll talk to your parents about the Karin situation." I looked at Ino. Big mistake on my part because she gave me the saddest look ever. I quickly looked away. "Please."

I then took my leave and walked away as quickly away from Ino as my legs could possibly take me. It wasn't very far sadly.

"Oh, look. It's the geek from the west." I knew that voice. That horrible, horrible voice. Another big mistake on my part.

I looked up.

Karin smirked at me before somebody stuck their leg out and tripped me on the concrete sidewalk. I scraped my knee and my elbow as I fell. Something wet and sticky was in my hair. I put my hand to the sticky material in my hair before bringing it down towards my face. It wasn't blood.

It was spit.

Karin and her "friends" were currently spitting on me. Then Karin kicked me in the stomach just as I started getting up. I soon found myself doubled over in pain. She kept kicking me.

"Little bitch. Thinks she can get away with standing up to me this morning."

"Oh? What did she do?" Watanabe Ami. God, I hated her so much. No matter how much I try to hate Karin, my sister, I could never. I don't know why I can't. I just can't.

I can honestly (no matter how much I want to deny it) tell everybody that if Karin were to die right now, I would honestly not know what to do with myself. My world revolves around her in a sick and twisted kind of way. She is my world.

She is my sister.

No matter how much it hurts me to admit it. I love her. I could never hate her. No matter how much dark stuff she does to me. I could never.

"Yeah, she tried getting her notebook back. I almost threw it into the toilet but considering how nice and thoughtful I am, I gave it back to her."

"Karin, your so nice! If it were me, I would have tossed it in the toilet." Ami gushed.

"See? And that's why _your _not the leader of this group." At this, Ami looked down. It was a second rate thing. If the alpha out beats you, you bow your head in submission. If you don't, it's hell for you for a month. Nobody wants that. I've already had it. Once. I will never make the same mistake again. No matter how many times Ino tries to persuade me to rebel against my sister's stupid and childish and harmful antics. I just can't do it and I hate that about me. I hate it so much.

I saw through my pink bangs that Karin was currently looking at all of the students who had filed around us into a semi-loose circle. A smirk graced her lips.

"Is anybody going to stand up for her?" She made it sound like I was vermin. I was not vermin. I was human. A girl. Was a girl with feelings. No matter how much I wished for them to all leave. I wanted to feel nothing. To regret nothing.

I looked up at the students with blank eyes. I had known long enough that by now not to get my hopes up for somebody to stick up for me. Apparently everybody had to fight their own battles. With no help at all. No encouragement. No nothing.

Or was that just me?

I looked around for Ino even though I knew that she wasn't going to be here. Ino was a good friend just, whenever I seemed to be in trouble with Karin, she was really never to be found. I don't really know if it was just a coincidence that I never saw her, or if she was just avoiding me at all costs when we got to school.

I don't know but she's all I have. I can't let that go to waste. I need her. She's my only friends. Even if she doesn't stick up for me when people pick on me. Even if she ignores me when I try to talk to her during school hours. I never really notice these things. It's just the little things in life.

"Nobody? Not a single person?" My sister looked around. Her smirk growing bigger and bigger with each passing second. "Would you look at that skank?" Then she bent really close to my ear so only I could hear. "Nobody wants to defend you."

Believe it or not, this was one of Karin's good days. She was actually happy today. Somehow, I cherish the times when I'm alone like it was my life support.

To anybody else who was put in this situation probably would think it was.

Karin kicked me in my ribs one last time before pushing through the crowd and disappearing. The crowd slowly walked away after seeing that nothing else exciting was going to come of my crumble heap.

They all shook their heads at me. They were probably thinking that I should have fought back. But only for their entertainment.

It hurt but it's what I live with on a day to day basis. You learn to live with that.

_**XxXxX**_

_**Me: So yeah. I guess you could say that that was like the prologue. I expect it to be much longer. Well, the chapters any way. I hope that you guys liked it. Thanks for reading.**_


	2. Unnoticeable

Dinner.

Dinner time to be precise.

Dinner sucked today but I guess my quietness didn't help either. The tension was so thick that you could practically cut it through with one of those long and sharp cutting knives.

"So," Mom started. "how was uh… school?" She asked tentatively.

That was my mom for you. She always _hated _the silence. She never allowed it. She would do anything to stop it from being silent.

I, on the other hand, welcomed it with open arms.

"Decent." Karin replied.

Suddenly, all eyes turned on me. I was staring down at my feet from under the table. I could practically feel Karin's smirk on me but I looked up anyway just to clarify. She was in fact smirking at me. I looked away quickly before giving my reply.

"Fine."

Mom raised a delicate brow in a furrow as she looked at the food in front of her. She stabbed the carrot with her fork.

"What _is _this dare I ask, Sakura?"

I looked up to notice all eyes on me again. Mom was glaring at the piece of food on her fork. "It's a carrot."

"No it's not. Carrots are soft and warm. Not hard."

At that, I stabbed a carrot on my plate with my fork. It was mushy.

It was _over _mushy.

It was _over_cooked.

"Sorry. I'll do better next time." I murmured. My head was bent down as if the floor suddenly got so appealing.

"See to it that you do."

That would be it. It doesn't sound real bad though. At least… at dinner time it isn't.

When mom and dad both get something to drink… it's game over for me.

And with that, I got up from the table and limped over to the sink to start washing the dishes.

The worst thing about my parents though?

They didn't even notice me limping.

From where Karin kicked me repeatedly today.

Not one glance.

Not one acknowledgement.

Do I even exist to them?

**Frostless Ice**

**Chapter 2**

**Unnoticeable**

"Haruno Sakura!"

I glanced up dully to see Kakashi-Sensei looking at me expectantly from the black board. His hand had a stick of white chalk while the other held up a piece of paper from our recent Math test that we just got back. I got a fifty eight out of one hundred.

Well, I didn't.

Karin did.

She made us switch papers at the last minute before Kakashi-Sensei collected them. It was nothing new. She always made us switch papers. Ever since sixth grade.

Karin was failing more than half of her classes in sixth grade. Mom and dad intervened and asked her why she was doing so badly in school. Well, they should have. Instead, I did something I deeply regret. Deeply regret.

_Karin was walking home from school. She had her math test in her hands and was currently shaking her head in disbelief. I raced up beside her._

"_Something wrong Karin?" I asked loudly; a big smile adorning my face._

"_Uh… what did you get on your math test?" She asked._

"_A one hundred. Same as usual. Why?" My long pink locks fell in my eyes before I noisily blew them out but they just came back. I used my hand to push them behind my ear. I glanced at Karin in question._

_She in turn showed me her test. I grabbed it from her outstretched hands before looking at the seven pages. I looked from the seventh page all the way to the first before I noticed the big fat red pen marks on the first page giving out her grade on it. _

_26_

"_You got a twenty-six out of a hundred? How did you possibly manage _that_?"_

"_Don't give me that! It's bad enough I'm failing math but I'm also failing more than half of my subjects!" Karin put her head in her hands before giving a massive shake as tears cascaded down her face and onto her hands. I sighed as I saw her having a sort of panic attack. "Oh, Sakura! What am I gonna do!? Mom and dad will see this and then ground me! I _have _to go out Saturday! I have a date!"_

_I thought for a moment. Well, I guess that could work. _

_I grabbed my test out from my back pack and a pencil before erasing both of our names on them. I scribbled down my name on Karin's, and Karin's down on mine. _

"_There. Now you won't get grounded."_

"_Sakura! What are you gonna do when they ask why you failed!?"_

"_I'll say that I just didn't study enough or I didn't get enough sleep. No biggie." I smiled as Karin hugged me hard. I could just barely breathe but, I guess that at the time that was okay with me._

"_Thank you Sakura! I will never forget this! You will never regret this!" She said loudly as we neared home._

_I came to know later that, she would never forget that in fact, she would make me do it just to save her. I would regret it later while she didn't give a damn. It was my grades that I was giving to her. _

_I gave her my homework._

_I gave her my tests._

_I gave her my quizzes._

_I gave her all the answers._

_While I got her crappy homework._

_While she gave me her tests._

_While she gave me her quizzes._

_While she gave me no answers._

_I want answers. I don't want to keep giving my sister all of my grades. She didn't deserve them yet somehow, I couldn't say no. I don't know how Karin did it but, somehow she ended up brainwashing me into thinking that I didn't deserve to know why or how or _anything _for that matter. It was all about her._

_And it still always was._

"Care to take your paper any time soon Haruno?"

I shook my head quickly to get rid of the past before grabbing the test and sticking it randomly in my back pack. It didn't matter to me any more. I got used to the idea of me failing.

"Haruno, please see me after class." I nodded. Kakashi-Sensei went back to handing out papers.

The period ended quickly. It felt like I wasn't even there. I didn't believe I was considering that I was thinking about the day that I gave Karin my test and took hers. How I wish that I could erase that whole day. Back then, Karin was actually nice. She didn't beat me up or treat me like shit. She treated me with emotion. Like a regular person.

Until she figured out she could control me.

That's the problem with me. I'm too weak. I'll just let anybody come in and screw up my life.

I got my stuff together after the rest of the class walked out of the room to go to fourth block. I walked up to Kakashi-Sensei's desk as he looked up from his book. It was orange and named Icha Icha Paradise. In other words, a porno.

"Haruno, you are failing my class. I feel like you need a tutor. What do you think about that?" He questioned me. My face grew red a bit. I could feel it heat up.

"It's fine." Short, sweet, and to the point. "And, who would you have in mind to tutor me Kakashi-Sensei?"

"We will see, but for now, I want you to move up front. I want you closer to the chalk board okay?"

I gulped. I couldn't move up front! How was I going to give Karin my test for when she needed it? I could give her my homework at home while she gave me her half completed piece of crap but… this couldn't work! Well… maybe I could just write her name down instead of passing it to her. I hate it when I overreact like that.

"Fine."

He looked at me questioningly. "Sakura, are you alright?"

Those three dreaded words.

I did what came naturally to me; lie.

"Yeah. I'm fine Kakashi-Sensei."

After that horrible confrontation, I was allowed to go to my last block. Konoha High has four blocks a day meaning four classes a day. We have two semester's though so we get our eight classes. It's easier though because you don't have that much homework to deal with if it were eight a day like in middle school.

Middle school.

Now _that _brought back memories. A lot of them good but also a lot of them bad. Very bad.

I continued on my walk to fourth block; wood shop. It was probably my hardest class ever because I had to work with wood. I had to get the measurements right, I had to cut them right, I had to make sure that they fit together, and a bunch that's just for starters. I also had to learn how to measure. Wood shop required a lot of math like fractions and such. It was a challenge but I quickly got used to it. I often had to help others though because some of the class was struggling with making the projects. Asuma-Sensei helped them but a lot of the class he wasn't really there. He was always watching but you just couldn't see him but he always kept tabs on the class so you were without supervision but yet you weren't. You _thought _you were but yet you weren't. Asuma always watched. Nobody knew how but he warned them.

Ever since Aiko a few weeks ago got written up for using one of the machines to scare the other students when they all thought Asuma wasn't there, we've all been well behaved. Nobody knows how he did it though. As soon as Aiko started taunting the students with the machine, he was there. Within a _minute _he was there. It was really weird.

The other weird thing about wood shop class is that there's only one other girl in the class. The rest are boys. Regardless, the class isn't that big but, still. Big enough to notice the difference between genders.

The other girl in the class was somebody whom I never really talked to. I never really talked to anybody aside from Ino when she decided to show her presence around me. It was actually a girl named Sayomi Takahema. Sayomi wasn't really a quiet girl. Rather, she liked to do things her way. She liked to be active. I felt awkward around her because she was practically friends with _everybody _in Wood shop so she talked all the time while I just stood around. Sadly, nobody really noticed me. Nothing new though.

The boys in wood shop were Choji Akimichi, Sasuke Uchiha, Shin Tike, Kiba Inuzuka, Sai, Yukio Ito, Jun Tanaka, and a few others. I can't remember all of the names but those are some of them. I have never talked to any of them aside from helping out. I usually wait for somebody to talk to me before I talk back. I'm not shy or anything though. It's just, I won't make an attempt to talk to somebody who I know doesn't want to talk to me. It doesn't make any sense in my book.

The door creaked open as I pulled on it before entering the wood shop room with a late pass. I was about ten minutes late. It didn't matter though. We weren't doing anything today except watch a movie. Not a good movie either. It was all about wood and how lumber jacks chop them down and stuff. Not my ideal way on how to spend my last class on a Friday afternoon but it'll work. At least I don't have to act busy all of the time in the lab just to make people think that I don't want to talk because I don't. More than half the time I spend in the wood lab, I don't talk. Again, nothing new.

Asuma looked up as he was taking his MAC laptop that the school gave him and placing it on one of the desks while hooking it up to the projector. He placed the DVD in before giving me his full undivided attention.

"Sakura, do you have a late pass for me?" I nodded and then handed it to him before taking my rightful seat. All the way at the back of the class. Where practically nobody else was. I sat a seat away from the teacher's desk which was in the far corner of the room farthest from the door. I had originally sat up in the middle but I decided that I really didn't like that spot so I had asked Asuma-sensei if I could switch. To this, he said yes as anybody could probably tell.

"Okay, so watch this carefully kids. I am _not _Kakashi so I, unlike him, will be watching you guys with the utterly huge care that you guys cannot possibly function without." He smirked. All the while, he reached into his desk drawer and pulled something out. Nobody could tell what it was because he had stuffed it into his pocket.

At his words though, half of the class erupted into a chorus of, "HEY'S!" before he chuckled and started the movie. The next minute, he was gone. At this though, everybody started talking to one another. It seemed like I was the only one paying attention.

I was the only one paying attention I realized because as soon as the movie ended, Asuma-sensei appeared and gave us all a sheet to work on that was related to the movie. I was able to complete all twenty-five questions. No problem. Until that is, when the others saw that I was done. They grabbed the space around me and crowded in; each of them claiming their own seat beside or among me. This is quite possibly the most I have actually been noticed in a few years. It was quite sad if you thought about it that way though.

"Hey! You! Your finished right?" A guy that so happened to be screaming in my ear even though he was right next to me said.

Of course. He didn't even know my name.

The only person who didn't actually migrate towards me for answers was of course, Uchiha Sasuke. Because, apparently asking for somebody's help, let a lone a _girl_, was completely out of the question. He preferred to do it all on his own.

The fucking sexist.

"OI! GIVE ME THE ANSWERS!"

The people here didn't even have manners. But, of course, I gave them all of the answers. I wanted my sister Karin to be proud of me for being nice. I wanted her to just be proud of me. Maybe if that happens, she'll call me her sister again out in public.

By the time I got my paper back, we had about a minute left in class. The time itself was bad but nothing compared to my paper. Apparently people find it 'funny' to erase somebody's answers and then write in black sharpie looser all over the paper. I looked at my nonexistent answers and then the unreadable questions. Meaning I couldn't even write the answers at home even if I wanted to.

I would just have to ask Asuma for another o-

"Hey, if you tell Asuma we did that, we will personally make your life a living hell."

I sighed in defeat but that didn't last long as the boy seemed to start talking to me all over again in a snide and insincere way.

"You can't even ask Asuma for another one." He grinned so menacingly that if I wasn't so used to it by now, I would have flinched and looked away. Instead, I just stared past him at the board. It seems to be getting more and more interesting each and every single day.

Then, the bell rang and Asuma-sensei came back inside the classroom just as all of his students were leaving to go home. I followed after them shortly but only after everybody had already left.

When I was walking outside, the first thing that I noticed was that Karin was strutting over to some boy by the water fountain out front. I sighed at her childish antics. It was very befitting for her if she wanted to take the role as the girl you want to be like. Of course, a ton of girls envied Karin but then again, a lot of girls hated her. They said things like she wasn't beautiful. No, she was pretty. She wasn't smart. No, she was intelligent. She wasn't all that. No, she was more than that. She wasn't worth the time of day. No, because she was worth that time of year. Everything.

Whenever somebody insulted Karin when I was around, I always told them that she was great. Their next reply?

"_Who the hell are you?" One girl sneered at me. She had long brunette hair and nice oval shaped green eyes. The brown and the green seemed to suit her more than it should. She was twisting her straw around that was in her medium sized milkshake from some fast food restaurant from the United States._

"_I'm…" My breath caught in my throat. I couldn't tell them my name. They might be little Karin even more if they knew that I was her sister. "Soya." I answered lamely. It was actually times like this when I want nothing more than just crawl under my bed and just die. Right then and there._

_Because as soon as I said that, not even five seconds later, the girls drink was being poured all over me. I couldn't think. I couldn't even breathe. All of the students around me started laughing so much that it looked like it hurt._

_I want to laugh like that… To have not a care in the world. Only living for that moment even though you knew that it would be over soon. That when your older, you'll look back on this and just gently shake your head. It made my heart ache to see something that I might never have._

"_Haha! Look at you! Hey everybody! This girl looks like a monster!" The halls were filled with laughter. Painful laughter. The kind that made my stomach do flip flops all around and have butterflies. But not the good kind. No, the bad kind actually._

_But, that's when my 'savior' arrived. At one point she was. Just not right now. She wouldn't do anything for me because I might soil her reputation._

_Karin looked from me to the girl and then back before glaring at her. I smiled. She was going to defend me!_

"_Misa! I _told _you to leave the less fortunate alone! Now look at what I'm going to have to do!" By this time, everybody had stopped laughing and was just listening to what Karin was saying._

_After that, I knew not to get my hopes up anymore. Karin wasn't going to defend me. She was going to defend herself. Just like what she's always told me. She comes first on the list of the top of the food chain. I, on the other hand, wasn't even _on _the food chain. I was-am the worst. That nobody should even really associate themselves with me. That even noticing that I exist was bad enough._

_Karin let me have Ino as a friend because she hates her. Otherwise, if Karin liked Ino, then Ino wouldn't like me because of what Karin says about me to her friends. Let alone the whole school.…_

_I know that I should feel outraged at all of this but I don't. At least she was sticking up for me. It was just how she spread it out to others._

_I didn't mind. As long as I get mentioned as her sister soon._

When I got back to the house, I noticed a silver pimped out mustang in the driveway. My breath hitched in my throat before I turned and ran inside the house to see something that I never wanted to see.

I saw a boy sitting on the couch with Karin in between his legs.

The boy that she was now flirting with, and who was flirting _back_, was inevitably Ino's boyfriend. It wasn't until Karin started kissing him, while he started feeling her up, that I actually got up the nerve to move from my spot.

Unfortunately, fate was not on my side today or any other day because as soon as Karin stopped kissing Ino's boyfriend, she spotted me in the hallway.

"Oh, Sakura!" I stopped right on the spot and slowly turned to look at her. "Would you come here for a minute?" I slowly walked over to her as she put her hands on my shoulders. She looked in my eyes.

"Be a darling and don't tell Ino about this okay?" I didn't do anything. "And if you do," she chuckled darkly, "there will be hell to pay."

I nodded solemnly before trudging away from my sister and my best friends cheating boyfriend. There was only one thing going through my mind after this whole ordeal was what felt like a few miles away.

Do I tell Ino, my best friend?

Or obey my sister?

_**XxXxX**_

_**Me: Hey guys. I probably won't be able to update for a while. School is really taking it's toll on me this week... . Stupid homework.**_

_**Oh, and the words in **__italics?__** Those were a flashback. But, you probably already know that.**_


	3. Dodge Ball

It was never me.

The dresses. The jewelry. The glam life. The good life.

It was never me.

Never for me.

I could never have it.

When I broke my wrist after Karin pushed me down the stairs, it took three weeks for my parents to finally notice this and take me to the hospital. The just didn't care about me anymore. I love them with my whole heart. They hated me with their whole heart. They might still too.

By the time they took me to the hospital, the doctors had to break my wrist yet again because it had started to grow back deformed. Instead of going straight and connecting to my arm, the bone actually started to slant sideways.

It hurt so badly.

The worst thing though, about me breaking my arm. Those three weeks that it was broken, I was screeching in pain.

And my parents didn't even seem to think that that was not normal for me.

No.

Apparently it is normal to have your child screeching in utter pain

Just one question.

How come when Karin cut herself with a knife, my parents felt the need to take her to a doctor? Even when she was screeching in pain?

I thought that was…

…_normal_…

**Frostless Ice**

**Chapter 3**

**Dodge Ball**

A paper ball whizzed past my ear.

I didn't turn around. I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of seeing myself all twisted up and bruised. Not physically but mentally. I didn't doubt that they could see it though. My eyes were probably the worst. They gave away every bit of information on how I was feeling. I hated that. I was working on it though.

Sometimes, if you don't look closely, you won't be able to tell. That alone could bring a smile to my face. A time where nobody could tell what I was feeling? That would be so nice. As I said, work in progress though.

This time a paper plane hit me square in the face from the front. I still didn't look though. It would be too painful. I couldn't do it. So instead, I raised my hand.

Kurenai-Sensei looked up from her book to check out the class and saw my hand up. "Yes, Sakura?" She asked.

"May I use the bathroom?" I put my hand down gently. Sensei nodded so I got up, grabbed the hall pass, and walked out the door as fast as I could without it being obvious. If they saw it, they would tell everybody.

I will have had no place to go. Not like I do now. I have _some _places to go. Like the nurses office. I always feel welcomed there by Shizune.

Shizune's the nurse here. She's amazing believe it or not. She's also the school's principle's helper. A lot to do in a school but that's fine.

I walked to the girls bathroom, walked in, and locked the door. I didn't know why they had locks on the inside of the bathrooms but they do and I used them. All the time. I slumped up against the door and let my head rest against it. It was only second block but I was already _tired_. Oh so tired.

"Aahh…" I sighed as I slipped my head phones into my ears. I pressed the start and music immediately flowed through them. Music could calm me. I loved music. I was more of a rock fan than all of those cookie cutter pop stars songs. Give me a nickelback CD and I'm happy. Or as happy as I could get nowadays.

After about three songs, I stopped my iPod, returned it to my pocket, and instead grabbed something else from my pocket.

A bottle of iron pills.

My whole body was hurting and I had anemia. Not really the greatest combination. Nobody cares anymore. Even if I start to heave and can't breathe from lack of iron in my body.. It doesn't matter anymore because I realized way back when that I was on my own. That I shouldn't, wouldn't, _couldn't_ trust anybody else. Nobody. Nobody but myself.

I heaved my body up and went to the sink. I poked two iron pills out of the small bottle and popped them in my mouth before washing them down with some water. The iron felt good and _familiar_ running down my throat. I loved it.

I craved it.

Some days, iron pills feel like my life source. I love it so much.

By the time I got out of the girls bathroom, I realized that I had been gone for about fifteen minutes. Hey, it was shorter than last time. Or, it would have been. If somebody hadn't been blocking my path.

"Thank god! I have to piss like, so badly!" The girl shoved me aside where I fell to the ground. My butt hurt and when I was starting to get up, I was a bit shaky. I don't know what was happening but… I kind of liked it.

I felt a hand grab my elbow and picked me up from off of the ground. My eyes wandered around for a second after I had stood up to see…

Uchiha Sasuke.

My brows furrowed as I watched him watch me.

Why would he…?

He picked something up off of the ground and glanced at it. "Your anemic?"

I glanced at the object of choice in his hands and realized that it was my iron pills. The little white capped bottle was in his hands. I snatched them back quickly and shoved them into my pocket. I know it was rude but I don't really like people knowing something so personal to me.

"Yes." We were still staring at each other by the time I said another sentence. "Thank you for… helping… me up." I turned to leave but he grabbed my arm.

"Wait." My head turned towards him a little to let him know that I was listening. He let go of my arm. "Do I have any classes with you this year?"

My eyes and head inevitably looked down. "First, third, and fourth block." Then I walked away.

Sasuke still continued to stare at my back before he too, left that spot. Probably to go to class.

I kept my eyes dead ahead though. Of course he wouldn't know that I was in three of his classes. Nobody would. Except Karin. She always seemed to know what class I was in or where I was headed at the time. People would say that it was kind of like the beginnings of a stalker but I knew that Karin wasn't a stalker. She was not a stalker. I lived with her. Even if half of the people didn't know that. I just happened to have the same last name as her. That's all.

God, I was so tired. It almost hurt to be that tired. I just hated not getting any sleep at all.

Nightmares filled my dreams. Often at times, I would wake up screaming in the middle of the night. Luckily, my room was sound proof. No noise could get in or out. Only if I opened up the windows but still.

By the time I got to Kurenai-Sensei's classroom, class was half over. She raised a perfectly defined brow at my arrival before glancing up at the clock. I nodded and then put the pass back from where I got it. I returned back to my seat. The iron pills were starting to take affect. Any uneasiness that I had felt before was gone. I felt refreshed.

My eyes were bright and cheerful. That's what I love about my iron pills. They make me… happy. Not in a druggie kind of way. No. they make me feel that… life… their's still hope in the world. That maybe…

Maybe somebody will like me. As a friend because that's all that I want right now. A friend. I wouldn't mind having a few actually. To have someplace to go to when I was feeling down or just wanted to go somewhere. Just to hangout with friends. I want friends.

Not just Ino. She's great right now but I want more. Ino has more friends. I want to be like her. I idolize Ino. She makes me have hope. But so do my iron pills and I have an extensive use for them. I can get them anytime I want. Ino, I have to plan it out very carefully. Is that how friends are? They aren't really spontaneous if that's how it is.

My seat felt cold. Oh so very cold. It got me thinking. I'm not sure about what. Just… thinking. About everything and yet, nothing. Just thinking. It felt nice. To not have to worry about life's drawstrings that pulled at you. Sometimes life made me feel like a puppet. Like my life was already decided for me. I had no say in the matter. But yet, sometimes it felt like I was in control of my _own _life. It felt nice when that happened. Even though it was extremely rare to happen. I still treasured it like my life line. Just like my silence. I treasured them so much that I felt at times they just weren't real.

But they were. And I loved that.

The bell rang. I quickly grabbed my stuff, slammed them into my book bag and walked out the doorway towards my third block. This one had Karin in it. I had Karin in my first and third block. I don't know if I should be happy about that, or just plain sad. I mean, a _lot _of people hate Karin. And I mean a lot.

I reached third block which was gym. This, actually, was one of the few classes that I was not failing over the course of the year. It was the second semester though. Meaning that school was almost over. Well, it's only sophomore year. Next year, I'll be a junior. Almost out of this hell hole called High school. That alone almost made me jump for joy. Surprisingly.

I bounced all the way to the locker room to get changed. I was so joyful from the iron pills. I didn't know why but, at the next minute, all of my bubby spirit vanished at what I saw. Karin was macking on Ino's cheating boyfriend. _Again_.

She seemed to sense my presence because she turned around ever so slowly.

"Ano… Karin…" I said quietly. "That's Ino's boyfriend." She raised her brows. "You shouldn't be doing that to Ino's boyfriend unless they break up first…" My voice thinned out and altogether stopped. Karin was glaring at me so hard by then that my heart almost stopped.

Had I said something wrong?

"Bitch, what she doesn't know won't hurt her! I already told you that! Now keep it to yourself or so help me!" Karin shrieked. It felt like a punch in the gut. Her words hurt me so much. I would always bounce back though but right now, my good mood instantly went away as I scurried past her and Ino's cheating boyfriend to the girls locker room to change.

I didn't even realize that a pair of eyes had witnessed the whole thing. Not even when they followed me all the way to the locker room. Not even then.

When I walked into the locker room, I instantly got mixed expressions from everybody. Some gave me sympathetic looks -

_Did they hear Karin just now?_

- and most of glares.

It didn't phase me though. It should have but I was so used to it by now. It was like an everyday thing nowadays. I didn't like it. I _did _mind it though. It bothered me. A lot. But I didn't - _couldn't_ - let anyone know that. It would be so very wrong. I wouldn't be able to handle it.

So, instead I got changed quickly and left just as quickly as I had came in. I was the last one out though. Well, there were a few stragglers but nobody really. On the way out through the door though, I bumped into somebody trying to come in.

I looked at the person. She had long midnight blue hair that went down to almost reaching her butt. She had large white eyes and they only widened even more when she realized who she had bumped into with the door. I didn't give her any look. My face was stoic. I perfected it over the years.

"Sorry." I muttered before leaving. I didn't want to be there any longer.

I chose to sit on the bleachers all the way in the top and back instead of on the ground and running around, laughing. I didn't even realize that there was somebody on the other side of the bleachers though. I didn't even realize that said person was looking at me either. It was pretty sad. I didn't even realize that they had started to make their way towards me.

The coach came out and blew the whistle. He looked up at me and instantly a sympathetic look passed by his face quickly. I clenched my fists white. Then I stumbled down the bleachers towards Gai-Sensei. He didn't look at me all the rest of the time he was talking to the kids about what we were going to be playing today.

Dodge ball. Nice.

I'm pretty sure that Gai-Sensei still thinks we're all nine year olds rather than sixteen year olds. Or soon to be sixteen year olds. I was still fifteen but my birthday's coming up soon. Joy (note the sarcasm).

Anko-sensei suddenly ran in to the gym. She had a CD player or a radio tucked under her arm haphazardly. She whistled a bit while going towards the bleachers. She set the radio down and then turned it on.

"We're gonna listen to The Offspring. If you hate them, suck it up."

Suddenly, Your gonna go far, kid by The Offspring started shooting through the speakers.

_Show me how to lie_

_Your getting better all the time_

_And turning all against the one_

_Is an art that's hard to teach_

You could hear a bunch of girls start booing at the music. Anko-sensei paused the song. That's when everything got real quiet.

"I'm sorry… MIND SAYING THAT AGAIN YOU LITTLE COCKROACHES!!??" She shouted at everybody. Nobody uttered a sound. Anko-sensei looked around with a satisfied smirk. Then, she turned the song back on.

_Another clever word_

_Sets off an unsuspecting herd_

_And as you step back into line_

_A mob jumps to their feet_

I sighed happily. Now _this _was my kind of music. But then we were trying to pick captains.

Gai-sensei came up. "Alright. Captains will be…" He scanned the crowd. "Karin and Sakura."

I gulped. How could he pick me!? Nobody wants to be on my team! I'm going to be all alone.

Gai-sensei positioned me and Karin in front of everybody else. "Alright, go to the person who's team you want to be on."

Everybody seemed to migrate over to Karin. Even if they hated her, apparently she was still better than me. That is, until I realized that one person had come over to my side.

_Sasuke Uchiha_

_Now dance, fucker, dance!_

_Man he never had a chance!_

_And no one even knew_

_It was really only you_

All the other people on Karin's side seemed to think before about half of the others came over onto my side.

Well, it looks like I won't be all alone now does it? Even if Sasuke did it out of pity. I still turned around and gave him a small, almost unnoticeable smile. He nodded his head.

Than the game really started.

Balls were placed on the center line in the gym. Gai-sensei blew the whistle and then all hell emerged from within the shadows. Everybody (minus a few girls) sprinted towards the balls to get a grab at them. Only a few emerged with them though. I actually, happened to be one of them surprisingly.

The ball felt heavy in my hands. I wanted to get rid of it; hand it to someone else on my team. But I didn't. Instead, I aimed and threw it at a random person on the other team. It hit a girl as the guy that I had aimed at originally jumped to the side to avoid getting the impact of the ball hit on him. I inwardly shuddered. That must have hurt her so badly.

The girl's face was thrown to the side from the impact. She touched a hand to her cheek, looked up at me, and screamed. "YOU LITTLE BITCH! NOW I'LL PROBABLY HAVE A MARK ON MY CHEEK AND IT'S ALL THANKS TO YOU!!"

Everybody in the gymnasium seemed to turn towards where I was. What they saw shocked them though.

I was no where to be seen…

_**XxXxX**_

"Stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID!" I bereted myself for what happened in gym class. It shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have thrown it that hard. Hell, I shouldn't have thrown it at _all_. Not after all the damage I've caused?

My heart was racing and I felt like I couldn't breath. I fumbled in my gym shorts pocket for my Iron pills and pulled them out. I popped two in my mouth and swallowed them haphazardly. The Iron pills that slid down my throat felt so familiar. I loved it. The feeling. It was exhilarating.

Until something pushed me from behind. I slammed into the lockers on my right side. Hard.

The person took my face, harshly, and rubbed it against the lockers. I could feel the metal grating against my skin on my face. It was a pain that soon turned into a searing pain.

My side hurt to as the person held me down against the lockers.

All I could think was _Why is this happening…?_

The person then leaned in closely and whispered in my ear, "You little bitch. You hurt my girlfriend. I think it's time to pay for what you-"

Then the weight was off of my back. I felt my shoulders slump as I turned around and looked at what had made the person stop.

I saw Sasuke Uchiha kneeing the guy in the groin and then repeatedly taking his head and hammering it onto his knee. In his wake, he left a bloody face with probably a broken nose and no possibility for future children. He let the guy fall down before he got back up and ran away. All the while leaving blood trails following him.

My knees buckled from underneath me, so I went down. My butt hit the cold and hard flooring. Sasuke's eyes looked towards me as I slowly cringed. He walked towards me and lifted out a hand. My eyes darted to and fro his awaiting hand, and his face.

I was scared to tell the truth. I wasn't sure if he was going to do what that other guy did to me. After all, people nowadays are _really _good at acting.

"I don't have all day." He grumbled impatiently. If I wasn't so scared, I would have laughed at that. Instead, I took the hand cautiously. He pulled me up quickly and in the process I lost my footing and fell against his chest.

I mumbled a quick _sorry _and then turned away. A blush riding my cheeks and the back of my neck.

He looked at me but then turned away. He called over his shoulder, "You need to learn how to defend yourself." Then he motioned with his head for me to follow.

I was stumped.

Understatement of the century though.

I inevitably followed him though. Quite carefully and extremely cautiously. But all in all, I have to say,

The day was starting out weird.

_**XxXxX**_

**Hey! So, yeah. That's it. Sorry it's so short but it's like… 12:30 …err… almost 12:30 right now. I need meh shut eye! Anywho. I would like to say that, the next ones I hope will be longer. I just really don't want you guys waiting this loooooong for a chapter. I want to get one in every week. Not every **_**month**_**!**

**Anywho.**

**I hope that you guys enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

**If you guys have any questions at all, send me a message.**

**Is it going to fast? What do you guys think? Should I add the Sasuke helping Sakura part later on?**

**-Dorky DippinFanny**


	4. Worthless

There was money on the dining room table.

It was Karin's allowance.

I stopped getting an allowance.

Karin saw to that a few years back.

Instead, she got _my _allowance.

She now got a hundred dollars ever other week.

I have to work for my money. If I want to buy something, I have to go out and get a job. I don't get money just for existing like Karin does.

Did she brain wash my parents? Our parents? Should they even be considered my parents anymore?

I'm not sure. All I know is that all of this thinking hurts my head. I just want it to stop.

I want time to freeze all of the time.

Or rewind.

Or fast-forward.

I don't care. I just want to be able to control something in my life. I have no control over anything at all.

Not even my own life.

No, my life is being controlled. Nobody knows it though. I seemed to be only thinking about it. Nobody notices it.

Nobody notices me.

Or, that's what I had originally thought.

Apparently, at school, there's actually quite a few people who have been watching me with mixed feelings.

I just hadn't realized it.

Like with the money thing.

My life and my now nonexistent allowance are kind of strung together on a string that seemed to far out to reach.

I realized now that, it really was to far out to reach.

I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to grab hold of it from where I stand.

I'm standing a mile from the edge.

It seems so far away to some people, but for me, it's incredibly close.

And getting closer with each passing day.

Each passing Hour.

Each passing minute.

Each passing second.

It was getting closer every time I took a breath. Not really knowing if it was going to be my last.

Not truly knowing how long I was going to be existing here.

Not truly knowing how long I had to live.

I was getting closer and closer to the edge.

Sometimes, I got so close that it would seem like it was within arms reach. That's the problem.

Sometimes I was a mile from the edge, sometimes six feet.

It was always changing. I could never control it but it ticked away at me like a clock.

My life line.

It was warning me.

But…

At one point…

…_It'll be too late…_

**Frostless Ice**

**Chapter o4**

**Worthless**

"Okay. Can anyone define the word 'Genetics' for me?" Kurenai looked out across the room. Nobody raised their hands at all. She raised an eyebrow. "Nobody?"

Still, there was no response. I was itching to raise my hand and say the answer. I couldn't though. Karin wouldn't like it if I "showed off" in front of anybody. Unfortunately, Kurenai called on me.

"Haruno Sakura." I looked up quickly. "Can you explain what Genetics means?" I gulped quietly but answered nonetheless.

"Genetics. Isn't that the study of heredity?"

She smiled. "Correct. Do you know who is the father of genetics?"

"Uhm… Gregor… Mendel?"

She smiled again. "Correct again." But then all things good come to an end. She turned away and went to the board and wrote down some notes on the subject of genetics.

I turned away from the board and glanced out the window towards the courtyard to see the cheerleaders practicing their routines. They looked so happy. I sighed.

_**XxXxX**_

_**(Sasuke)**_

A sigh escaped his lips.

"HEY TEME! GET OVER HERE!" Naruto yelled. Sasuke looked over to see Naruto pointing and waving to the window repeatedly. "THE CHEERLEADERS ARE PRACTICING OUTSIDE TODAY! AND YOU CAN SEE THEIR UNDERWEAR!" A crowd of boys appeared out of nowhere and stood by the window and looked out. A chorus of oohs and aahs echoed throughout the classroom so that you could tell when some random sluts underwear was showing.

Then Naruto started to drag Sasuke towards the windows. "C'mon Teme! You have to see this!" Sasuke sighed again before letting Naruto drag him away towards the window. Another chorus showered the quietness of the room with noise.

"MAKE WAY! MAKE WAY!" Naruto yelled as the two made their way to the front.

Sasuke turned towards the windows and looked out (unwillingly) at the cheerleaders doing routines in the courtyard below. He then glanced up and what caught his eye was not the cheerleaders. No, it was actually a girl with pink hair and green eyes that was also watching the cheerleaders.

See, the building was actually shaped like a big 'U'. Sasuke was on the right side of the 'U' while I was on the left side.

_**XxXxX**_

_**(Sakura)**_

Just then, my eyes moved up and saw Sasuke watching something in my direction. If I had known better, I would have said that he was looking at me. But I was Sakura and he was Sasuke. And things like that never happened. No matter how much I wanted them to. I didn't want them too.

He would never like me. I was too far gone by now. Nobody could help.

I always lay in bed at night and think about what it would be like if I had a loving family. If I had one, none of this would have happened. No, instead I got a family that thinks I'm shit to them. They think I'm shit. Nothing more than that. But, maybe a _lot_ less.

_**XxXxX**_

"Sakura, I left the list of chores that you need to do on the counter. I expect them all finished by the time your father, Karin and I get back from shopping at the mall in a few hours. Understand?"

I meekly nodded to my mother. You couldn't even really call it a nod. It was so small and unnoticeable. The next second, I heard the door slam shut. With a sigh, I got up from the bar stool that I was sitting on and trudged over towards the counter and picked up a sheet of paper.

_Sakura's Chores_

_1. Clean the living room.  
__2. Clean the bathroom.  
__3. Clean the kitchen.  
__4. Clean the dining room.  
__5. Clean the living room.  
__6. Clean Karin's room (first).  
__7. Mop floors (all).  
__8. Get cobwebs out of ceiling in attic._

I made my way up to Karin's room to start on hers first. When I opened the door however, the room was so incredibly messy that I could hardly believe that I had just cleaned the room no more than a week ago. Karin was such a pig that it wasn't even funny.

I started picking up a variation of dirty and clean clothes up from off of the floor. My hands picked up old and worn underwear that I immediately threw out in the garbage. They had stains all over them. I was pretty sure that she didn't wet the bed or her underwear. This only proved my case when I accidentally discovered a black box under her bed that was full of new and used condom packages.

Some were completely new, fresh out of the store, and others had nothing in them at all. My curiosity sparked immensely when I found a small, black book in the black box. I couldn't help but take a quick peek inside. What I saw, however, made me want to gag.

There were pages full of words on how good some… _boys _are at our school. Some of which I knew. I will never be able to look at them the same way ever again knowing that they did it with my sister. There were also pictures in it.

Lots of pictures.

Lots of _nude _pictures. Of her no less. I seriously almost threw up my lunch and maybe even my breakfast. Yeah, it was that bad.

I instantly closed the book, shoved it in the black box, and shoved the box back under the bed and acted like I had never found it. Instead, I cleaned her room and started on the rest of the house.

I decided to take the time to clean my room. It was clearly needed when I took a duster out and dusted my shelves and everything. Dust flew up in the air and I gagged on it. I didn't remember my room being this dusty. Nevertheless, I dusted anyway.

All in all, it took about an hour to get my room completely spotless. I liked it that way.

My room was basically bear of anything. The only thing it really had was a bed, a night stand with a lamp, a desk with another lamp, a vintage computer, and a really spotless white carpet.

I liked my room this way. That way, nobody really knew anything about me just by looking at my room. I had trust issues and letting people in issues. It just didn't work out for me. People didn't come as easy to me as other people. In fact, people were probably one of the hardest things I could deal with in my life. People were all so complicated. They had different personalities, different feelings, etcetera. I didn't like people. That's why I'm always so quiet.

I created a barrier around me to keep everybody out. Only certain people can get through but for right now, nobody got through.

Not even Ino.

I felt like I wasn't myself though, when I was with other people. Even when I was with Sasuke a few days ago when he and I met by the lockers during Gym class.

"_Sasuke… what are we doing up here?" I questioned quietly. It felt like I was talking to the wind when he didn't answer immediately._

_We were both up on the roof of the main building of the school. I had to admit, it was weird being here but kind of fun at the same time. _

_I had to be home soon though._

_I waited a few more seconds before opening my mouth to speak. Only, Sasuke beat me to it._

"_I want you to meet me up here Mondays and Wednesday's." he didn't turn around. It was like he wasn't speaking to me. Rather, through me. "I'll teach you how to fight."_

_I opened and closed my mouth several times at that. I probably looked like a dying gold fish at that point. I really could care less though._

"_W-why!"_

"_Why not?"_

_I thought for a moment. "Why this all of a sudden? Why take a sudden interest in my fighting skills? Now of all times?" At this, he turned around and looked at me. He raised one of his fine brows. "I mean… I've been going to the same school with you all of my life. We're now Sophomores. Why now? Why not a year ago? Three years ago?"_

_He seemed to think for a moment before responding too. "Because." What he said next made my heart stop. "You wouldn't have excepted it."_

_At that, he turned around and looked at me. He _really _looked at me. Not just my outer shell, but my inner being. Then he blinked and it was all over. The feeling of having somebody know and yet wanting to be able to tell somebody all about the problems suffocating me at times and knowing you won't. But wanting to nonetheless._

"_How do you know I won't now?"_

"_Because."_

"_Because?" I questioned. He only nodded. "Care to elaborate?" He stared at me for the longest time._

"_Because. It didn't seem to bother you a whole lot up until this year."_

_I blinked once. Twice. Thrice. So… he was only doing this because I looked… _weak_ in his eyes? Suddenly, my eyes narrowed down to daggers at him. He seemed taken aback as I glared at him._

"_No thank you, Uchiha. I do not need your help. I am not weak. I can take care of myself thank you very much." With that, I abruptly turned on my heel, and briskly walked away from him and the "scene" he was causing in my head._

_I left ever single thought that I had previously had with him on that rooftop. Only to have new ones form inside my head. None of which were to pleasant._

I sneezed on some dust that I had forgotten before taking a clean swipe with the rag. It was gone the next second. Just like everything good in my life.

Just gone.

_**XxXxX**_

When the doorbell rung, I had to admit, that was kind of unexpected. I was only half way done with the full list. It was already about three hours past when Karin and my mom had left. I wasn't sure when they would be back as of right now.

When I got to the door, I was a little hesitant. But then it rang again and I threw it open.

"Sakura."

It was Ino.

"Ino? What are you doing here?" I asked. I then ushered her inside quickly and shut the door.

"I thought that I'd come and visit. I hadn't seen you all day today. Can't I come and visit my best friend?"

Suddenly, the image of Karin and Ino's boyfriend making out entered my mind. I shook my head to try and block out the image. It worked too. But only for a little while.

"Yeah, but you could've called first." I grumbled childishly.

I _really _needed to get back to work.

"Sorry, but that wasn't on my Make-Sakura-Happy list." Ino walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch. I sighed loudly (hoping somebody would get the hint and leave, but _no_!) and decided to start on cleaning up the living room.

"So, what's up?" I raised my right eyebrow in a question. "Ugh, your house is always so boring. How do you stand it?"

"Simple. I find something not boring to do." I shrugged her question off and started up the vacuum. It didn't take long for Ino to get up, walk over to the vacuum plug, and unplug it. Five seconds of the noise to be exact.

"Look, vacuum when I'm gone, 'kay? I can't _stand _that noise. Ugh!" She stomped back over towards the couch and plopped back down ungracefully. I scrunched up my nose in irritation before switching the already dead vacuum off. I pushed it up against one of the walls and instead grabbed a mini swiffer and dusted off the surfaces in the room.

It took about three seconds for Ino to snatch that away from me and throw it out the opened window in the room. I turned and glared at her. "_What_! What do you want Ino! I need to work!"

Ino glared back. "I want to talk to you. No matter how much you cannot believe that, I would like to talk to my best friend sometimes. Y'know?"

I felt my eyes drift away. "I need to finish cleaning. I'll see you tomorrow at school."

"Fine. But you owe me!" Then she stormed out of the house and slammed the door shut.

The silence.

It was so loud.

It was so fucking loud.

That was the only thing that I hated about the silence. When I wanted somebody to talk to, the silence just got unbearable. It was so very loud. I hated it. I hated it so much.

I really wanted Ino to open the door, start laughing at me and say I fell for it. I willed her to with my mind.

Unfortunately, I was never that strong.

She never came back.

I was forced to go with the silence until Karin and dad and mom got back. Until then, I was to suffer and clean up.

_**XxXxX**_

"We're back! The house had better be spotless!"

Five hours.

They were gone for five hours. By now, I was going crazy with all of the silence. It was…

Suffocating.

I was done with the whole list of chores. I actually finished an hour before they finally decided to come back home. I was afraid that they would be out all night long.

It might've been nice to have the whole house to myself. I might've enjoyed it even. But not now. No, not now.

"Sakura! Where are you!" Mother yelled.

I got up off of my bed that I was currently on and ran downstairs to see mother awaiting by the last few steps of the stairs. She was holding up a white glove with nothing on it. Her pointer finger was up.

"What is this?" She held her finger right in front of my face. I could have gagged.

"I see nothing." I stated blankly.

She chuckled before ripping the glove off and smacking me in the cheek with it. My face went to the side and my forehead rammed into the wall. I winced in pain as I stumbled back, tripping on a step, and falling down the rest of the stairs.

I groaned in pain before looking up at my mom in wonderment. My eyes silently probing hers for an answer to that hit.

"_That_, was for mocking me. There was dust on that glove. Dust that I got from the ceiling. I thought I told you to clean up this house."

I mumbled something. Mother was not pleased. Not pleased at all.

She grabbed my upper arm and yanked me up on my feet.

"I want this whole house spotless. Tonight." Mother snarled.

My eyes darted towards the clock mounted on the wall and saw that it was already half past nine at night.

She shook me hard. All I could do was to nod.

Is this all I was good for? I thought as I grabbed a wash cloth and started cleaning the bathroom shower. To just clean up?

Am I a slave to my own family?

_**XxXxX**_

**There, it's ten pages. : ) I hoped that you guys liked it.**

**Sorry that it's sooo late. I was grounded for a month. I still am but I managed to get this in.**

**OH! And I would like to thank Astrocam for being my BETA for this chapter. Hopefully she will be for the whole story. : ) Thank you, again.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto.**


	5. Nightmare on Elm's street

It was almost Halloween.

I never participated in Halloween after I turned nine.

I thought that it was extremely childish and that I shouldn't do it if I wanted to be treated like an adult in the near of distant future.

Now that I think about it, I was incredibly stupid to actually think that.

What I wouldn't _give _just to be able to go trick or treating again.

Not just for the free candy, but rather, for the feeling of being a child again.

If this is what feeling like an adult is, than I don't want to be one anymore.

I hate it.

I wished it would stop.

I want to be a child again.

Is that so bad?

Apparently since I have to stay at home and hand out candy while Karin and Mom always go out to actually do it.

Dad goes off somewhere for at least three hours.

Nobody's sure where he goes.

Not even Mom.

I remember.

This one Halloween I was home alone passing out candy when this man and his child came up and rang the doorbell. I walked over towards the door, grabbed the candy bowl, and opened it up and handed the small girl two small snickers bars.

I had just expected to hand out candy that night and do absolutely nothing at all.

They came back three times that night. I'm not sure why but, I saw them pass by the house. Discreetly of course. I had just thought that they may have dropped something and went back to get it or something along those lines. Boy, was I wrong.

Each time the man would stare at me intently. I was oblivious of course though. I only looked at the cute, little girl by his legs staring straight ahead.

The third time though, he asked if his daughter could use my bathroom.

I was being stupid and said yes, so I let them both come in. The man went into the living room while his daughter and I went to the bathroom.

I came down and then saw the man was not in the living room. I checked in every room but I still didn't find him.

Until he came up behind me.

October 31, 2004 was the day that I almost got raped.

If his daughter hadn't come down in time, I wouldn't be a virgin anymore.

When his daughter came downstairs, the man instantly jerked away from me and looked down at his daughter; beaming.

When they were walking out the door, the man turned towards me and gave me a lustful glance before walking out of the door completely.

I was shaken. I couldn't move. I couldn't feel my fingers, my toes, my body. I couldn't feel anything. It's like my blood just went ice cold inside my veins. My eyes were wide open; my mouth was agape.

That night, when Mom and Karin came back from trick or treating, they found me cradled inside my arms on the white couch in the living room. I was shaking but they didn't seem to care. It was only until Mom said that I should go to my room, did I realize that the man had taken something.

My house key.

A week later, I managed to persuade Mom and dad to change the locks.

Everyone of them got changed.

So that's why I now leave the candy bowl outside with a note on how many to take.

I never open that door on Halloween. Never.

Nobody knows about the almost rape either.

Who would care?

Who would actually believe me?

Not my parents. That's for sure.

Not Ino.

She's my only friend but, I just couldn't.

We're not as close as before when we were best friends.

No where near.

So sometimes, I act like I live in solitude.

I actually start to believe myself when nobody comes home.

It would actually be an improvement if I lived in solitude.

What's better?

Living in solitude-

-or being surrounded by a sea of people who can't stand you?

**Frostless Ice**

**Chapter o5**

**Nightmare on Elm's Street**

"Alright, since you guys think it's so _fun _to just talk and talk and talk, I'm going to give you all a project. It's due Friday, meaning in three days." Kakashi grumbled as a piece of dripping wet hair clung to his forehead and then started to pass around a packet to everybody. "Now, this is to be done _separately. _That means no partners."

Everybody turned to glare at Naruto seeing as how he was the one to get us into this predicament.

It all started when Naruto first walked in that morning.

_Naruto laughed. "Kakashi -Sensei deserves this." He got up on a chair, grabbed a bucket filled with ice cold water and ice, and placed it on top the slightly opened door._

_Sasuke shook his head and took his seat. Way, way in the back. Where nobody could see._

_My eyes darted around the class room before finally looking outside the window. The cheerleaders were at it again._

_Ino was down there because, well, she _was _the team captain after all._

_I couldn't hear what they were saying but I knew damn well by that look she had on, that she was yelling at the whole team for screwing up yet again. Gosh, just _watching _them was tiring enough as is._

_A snicker sounded from across the room as I heard a water splash and a bucket fall on the ground. I didn't bother to turn around, I already knew what had happened._

Yeah, Naruto was probably the biggest idiot in the century of idiots. I didn't complain though. I was probably worse than him considering my situation at home.

I glanced at the packet and knew the answers right away. I was about to start writing them in when a fake cough sounded from the front. I looked up to see Kakashi-sensei staring at me. He motioned with his hand for me to follow him out the door.

"Alright, I have a tutor lined up for you. The times you will be meeting will be Monday's and Wednesday's from two to three thirty. Are those times fine?" He looked down at me.

To be honest, I was kind of hoping that he would have forgotten about the whole tutor situation. After all, I didn't need a tutor. I already understood everything that was going on. I wished I could explain to Kakashi what was going on, but I never would. Karin would have killed me, and I didn't want to betray my sister. I inwardly groaned but, then I nodded my head slowly.

"Who is my tutor?"

The next sentence, or should I say two words, left my mind in a spiral of thoughts and emotions.

"Haruno Karin."

_**XxXxX**_

The rest of the day passed by uneventful. All the while I was thinking that I would surely die every single Monday and Wednesday. Just pure agony at the thought of what Karin would do to me for getting her to tutor me when really it should be the opposite.

_I _should be tutoring _her_. But no, life wasn't fair like that. No, no it was not.

When I got home, Karin wasn't back from school yet. I let out a thank you God as sudden relief hit me; full force.

With nothing really to do, I went to my room and did my homework.

I was all done with it after a half an hour. Nobody was back yet though and I was awfully tired. A nap would probably do myself some good so I went to lay down on my bed.

After a bit, I drifted off into a dark nightmare.

_I was in my house. The lights were all turned off. There was a thunderstorm outside and it was really loud._

_I was currently laying in my bed with a blanket wrapped tightly around me. I peered around my room to see nothing but the usual. Just… something felt off. And I didn't like it. Not one bit._

_The sheets ruffled as I made my way out of bed and downstairs towards the kitchen. Just as my first foot hit the ground of the kitchen, a sudden pain shot up through my whole body. My body crumbled to the floor as the pain took over. _

_I screamed._

_Karin came out from behind me and chuckled at my position on the floor. She took her foot and placed it on my stomach. She then pressed downward and the pain intensified by ten fold._

_As if I hadn't screamed before, now I _really_ did. Karin didn't seem affected by that at all though. It was as if… as if her heart was made out of stone. It was such a pity to see her like this. But then again, I was the one on the ground; suffering in pain. Pain that she was currently inflicting upon me._

"_You were always so, so weak. I always wondered why I got you for a sister. I would have rather have had Ino and I hate her. But," She grinned evilly and it scared me so much, "she's a hell of a lot better than you." She then took her foot off of me and knelt down so that her face was maybe a foot away from mine. "I'm going to enjoy making your life a living hell in the years to come."_

_I coughed. "I thought you were already doing that."_

_Karin punched me in my jaw. "Heh." She laughed. "If you consider that hell, then, you'll be needing a new word for what I'm going to do to you." She laughed again._

_Her laugh still sounded even when she straightened up, kicked me hard in the side so that I flipped over a few times, and walked away. All the while…_

_Laughing…_

_**XxXxX**_

I woke up with a scream. My eyes darted to and fro before noticing a thick layer of sweat drenching my body. I rubbed my eyes in an attempt to get the nightmare away.

My alarm clock beeped, letting me know that it was time to get ready for school.

I stared at the clock. It was six in the morning.

I took a nap at two yesterday.

How had I slept for _sixteen hours_! I had never slept for longer than ten! Well, that is, until now. My head shook with doubt until I got up to get changed and ready for school.

_**XxXxX**_

"YO! KAKA-SENSEI! COME UP WITH A DECENT EXCUSE ONCE IN A WHILE!" Naruto yelled as Kakashi walked into the class late, yet again.

Class had started well over an hour ago. A little under twenty-five minutes were left in the block.

Kakashi didn't even bother to look up from his book as he answered Naruto.

"Dare I ask you even started on your project, Naruto?"

The class erupted into snickers.

Karin glanced over at me. I could feel it.

The nightmare was still floating around in my head. Replaying over and over again.

I mentally hit myself.

How could I be so mean to Karin?

At least she talks to me.

At least she shows that I exist.

Ino doesn't do that.

Aren't we supposed to be friends?

_Friends don't keep secrets about boyfriends cheating on them with their sister._

Oh.

Yeah, that's right. I guess… I guess I'm not a true friend either if I keep that secret. But I can't tell Ino. Karin made me swear.

And I…

Could never betray my sister.

No matter how much I want to have friends.

I could never betray Karin because she's the only one that actually knows that I exist.

Ino.

I love having her as my friend. I love it. But, sometimes I feel like she doesn't want to talk to me. But that's okay because maybe, if I think about it so much I'll actually start to believe that, somebody actually liked me. That somebody actually wanted to be my friend.

And when I think that, somehow, I don't feel so lonely anymore.

A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth but I didn't give way.

Karin would just question me about it later.

Because, if I just believe that somebody likes me, than that's enough for me.

But maybe she doesn't care, but if I just believe it, I'll be happy.

If they fool me, I wouldn't care. At least they'd be pretending to be interested in me.

At least they know I exist because…

I don't think I could ever be alone emotionally.

Physically? Definitely.

Mentally? Hell no.

Even if they didn't care about me, I would care about them.

I always would. Even if they told me to stop. It wouldn't matter. I wouldn't care. I would _always _care about them.

I don't know who they are though.

I only have one person.

_Is one person really enough?_

I liked to think so.

I liked to think that we were meant to live for so much more but… that was just a silly, little dream for a silly, little girl. Nothing great.

Nothing great at all.

_**XxXxX**_

"Ugh… Karin, do you even understand any of this shit?" Ami looked at the paper and then back at her. She noticed Karin had a far away glance in her eyes. She followed what Karin was watching and saw that it was Sakura.

"Ew. Why are you watching that little freak? She's just some pathetic excuse for a human being." Ami flicked her long hair over her shoulder. Some of the guys in the class glanced at her; eyes filled with lust. She winked at them anyway.

When Ami noticed that Karin still hadn't noticed her, she waved her hand in front of her face. Karin snapped her gaze away and glared at Ami.

"What the hell do you want!" She snapped.

Ami looked taken aback. "Jeez, what's got your thong in a bunch." She muttered. "I only wanted to know if you understand any of this that Kakashi-sensei gave us in the packet. Tomorrow's Friday and I still haven't started it and I do not plan on failing this class _again_."

Karin fanned herself with the packet they were supposed to be working on individually. "I dunno. Go ask Shikamaru or Neji. They're smart." Then she went back to watching Sakura. Discreetly this time, of course.

Ami watched her for a few seconds before shaking her head and muttering, "Crazy." under her breath.

Karin heard it though but she didn't care. Ami was just jealous of her.

Yes, Ami was jealous of her.

The only crazy person here was Sakura and that has got to be the understatement of the century. She was just a little girl.

And Karin hated her for that.

_**XxXxX**_

**Sorry it's so short. I couldn't think of what to put here. I think I ruined the chapter though. I think I ruined the whole story. I was reading over the story Somebody by Misery's-Toll and I was trying to get my story to sound a little like that.**

**Not the storyline, just the… feeling. The helpless feeling that Sakura gave off and to be honest, I don't think that I'm achieving it with this. **

**So, to be quite honest, I might edit the chapters again and have my BETA (Astrocam) read over it again.**

**I hope that you guys don't lose hope in me like my other stories probably gave off considering I have yet to finish a lengthy one yet. In my opinion that is just sad. But, bear with me. Please. I will try not to let you guys down too much in this story. I make no promises though.**


	6. Authorrrrr stuffies

Hey everybody.

Yes, this is an author's note. I am so sorry that I haven't updated in a whiiile. I'm trying, I swear! It's just, I have like, no computer to be able to upload my files. I have my mom's work but apparently FanFiction is blocked so… yeah. That's a no-go.

My daddy's won't even let me SEE my typed files so, that is yet another no-go.

The laptop that I was using before was my brother's BUT he went to college so that is yet, sadly, another no-go.

The only reason why you guys are getting this Author's note is because I am using my Uncle's laptop. I WOULD use it to post considering there's nothing wrong at first glance. The problem is, is when you double check, I rarely come here anymore. And again, another no-go.

School is also hectic. I'm trying to get into the play but apparently since I suck (like, a lot), I'm not getting in one of the mains. -_-

It looks like I'm switching schools. Yeah. Second time in my life that I have to freaking up root my whole life for my mom and her boyfriend. Gawsh, JUST PICK A FREAKING LOCATION ALREADY.

I'm trying guys, I really am. It's just really, really, really hard to find where I can post the chapters and have enough time to do so without going somewhere else. Hopefully I get a laptop this Christmas.

Well, I've kept you guya long enough so, I'll see you later.

-Bye


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